Better than what...

Better than what... Better than ever... Better than your average bear... Better than I used to be... Better than nothing...
You'll just have to read on and decide for yourself.

About Me

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Springfield, MO, United States
I'm a continual work in progress.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Passing Twinkle

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. Listening to my tunes usually puts me to sleep but tonight I'm Foxtrotting to the music. Its heady stuff to get a taste of feeling graceful. I noticed tonight that I was dancing on my toes in the ballroom class. I started dancing on my toes in kindergarten at Evangel. I don't remember the play but I was the fairy in a pink tu tu with a magic wand tapping the toys (other children) on the head in the train. I was on my toes then and I felt beautiful and confident. About 4th grade my inner sense of grace went flying out the window when we moved, I started wearing glasses, and I was taller than everyone in my class. Nothing like being called Jolly Green Giant to give a girl a complex. I'm not even that tall as an adult, 5'6" is not even average any more. Amazing how those childhood taunts stick with you long after you've outgrown them. Tonight we Foxtrotted for awhile and then we learned a passing twinkle. In this move the girl steps across her partner on the inner foot with a twirl, then back on the other foot with  a twirl, couple of twirls in all, then back into the Foxtrot. It's a little like flying with someone to catch you on either side. I'm feeling a need for dancing shoes. I think I'm becoming addicted to the adrenaline high. Grace Kelly I'm not but wait a minute could she even dance? I had my head tilted up looking over my partner's shoulder and R accused me of watching myself in the glass window. Wish I'd thought of that and who would have ever thought someone as self conscious as me would make a statement like that. I confess I did do a couple of twirls in the parking lot on the way to the truck after class. Maybe I'm a dance junkie - I wonder if there's a group for that?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Weekend Wind Down

I wish every weekend could be as nice as this one. I put all my should of's away (should have done laundry, should have worked on the yard, etc.) and played the whole time. Ran around with friends and family, found a new flea market, gathered some treasurers. I saw a sign at Wickman Gardens which is the perfect expression for this stage of my life.

I also worked on a couple of projects this weekend. I found an adorable rustic wooden box at the flea market for $1. I had an idea in mind for it, hence the trip to Wickman's.


I knew it would be perfect for some little succulents. It's going to look really good on my porch post in the spring but for now it's tucked safely away on the top corner shelf in the dining room. I just want to sqeeze them they are sooo cute!

My other project involves my alarm clock. It has a plastic outer shell and paper inserts so you can change the look of it. So I had this idea to change it to something I really like. Rhi and I spent some time at Michael's deciding that we both love scrap booking and we need to develop a storage system for it before we get heavily invested. Anyway I found a couple of pretty papers to work with. I traced around the template onto the paper and then cut out the clock face portion. Then I used my new hole punch tool to punch out the area for the speakers. It turned out just the way I wanted and now I can change it up with new paper whenever I get tired of the old.

I also played around with a trial version of Corel Draw this weekend and drew a little picture. Good golly I'm feeling creative lately.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Another Snow Day

I got some sleep last night and it's amazing how much better that can make a person feel. I also got my exercise in today. I walked over to the gym for the Cardio Sculpt class wondering if anyone would be there. As it turned out I was the only one there. That worked out really well for me. I had a personal training session with Marie. Did some sit ups on the bench (more than I thought I could do) lifted weights for the chicken wings, did some push ups. I was sweaty and a bit shaky but felt good afterward. On the way back I was walking through the snow, watching the flakes come down all toasty warm in my double layers and I think I entered an altered state. I was several feet past the crosswalk before I realized I needed to turn around and go back in. I was thinking about Diva while I watched the snow coming down. Diva was a little quarter horse that I leased a few years ago. She was with me for three or four years before her owner took her back and I wouldn't suggest that arrangement to anyone. Even though I knew that would happen eventually, it still broke my heart to see her go. I was way too attached right from the start. Diva had a big personality, she liked to boss the other horses around but was gentle and loving with me. She lived out in the pasture and I would walk out and get her when I went out to the barn in the evenings. Usually it was just Diva and I coming in at that time of night. If the flies were out and one was after her Diva would come barreling to me and swing her butt around for me to kill it for her. Not something I would ever have thought I would do but you learn to kill them quick when they're hurting your baby. When we came in after dark I would sing out loud to scare off anything lurking in the dark. I remember walking Diva through the snow with a full moon up in the sky and just standing out there in the field, watching my breath, appreciating the beauty of the night. Not being cold at all because I could lean into her soft, warm coat as she nuzzled my shoulder. Caring for Diva was an experience I will always treasure.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Food for Thought

I've been dancing with the dark today. Feeling down, feel sad, feeling left out. Just feeling. I don't feel 100%, fighting a cold/sinuses. I haven't worked out since Wednesday. It's been too cold for too long. In other words I've been all over snarky today for no damn good reason. I think I either need to cry it out or lay down and go to sleep to hit reset. Not sure which is the better option. I am by nature a mercurial personality. Then I checked my google reader and ran across a concept. There are bloggers out there today thinking about, writing about their last post. If this were your last post what would you write? I agree with the blogger who wrote that he hopes the last thing he would be doing wouldn't be blogging. I think that's a given and you have to take that out of the mix for this to be an introspective assignment. One would hope for something profound to spew forth in infinite glory but maybe it would just be sweet or simple or full of a life well lived. My life has had light and dark, profound and silly, happy and sad like most people. I know I've wasted too much time thinking too hard about slights, allowing my feelings to be bruised. It is my nature to ponder from all angles rather than brush aside that which does not fit. I know that my skin is thicker now than it was - but sensitive is not a bad thing. It's just part of who I am, and sometimes it just takes a little bit of thought to turn it around into the light. However, a little nap never hurt.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Lavender Buttercup

I left work today feeling jangly, tired, a little bit achey - like I'm coming down with something in other words. I was dragging myself on home when my alarm went off. Time for my monthly wellness massage. Laaaaa, angels sang, the clouds parted, and my inner voice said, get thee to the massage center. This was my second massage in the program. I went in and they were ready for me. Jennifer was my girl. I'm now in love with Jennifer's hands - I'm somewhat concerned that I'm a fickle massage junkie. I may like each session I experience in the moment. I was pretty much in a happy disassociative state when I got out of there. I would be a good masseuse if I had stronger hands and less carpal tunnel. I could use my newly discovered hippy name - Astilebe. That doesn't sound quite right. I really feel that deep within my psyche my hippy name should be Lavender Buttercup. It just feels right. I can see myself in a forrest green peasant skirt and Birkenstocks, white gypsy blouse with midriff bare (shut up). Long hair flying in the wind. This may be my new spring look. Hey I practiced my jaunty dancer's walk today on the way back from Burnham. It did make me feel better. I've gotta get to that core ab class tomorrow. Wonder where I can find an ankle bracelet with little tiny bells?
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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Worth It

The epic trip to Kansas City started before the crack of dawn, 4:00am to be exact. Tried to sleep the night before but found myself laying in bed awake thinking about the Knights of Nay from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I don't know why but did the nay sound like my mother telling me to stay off the snowy roads, hmmm? Maybe I did just figure that out. LOL. Needless to say I pushed that advice right out of my head and rolled on over to Lauren's. Got the truck loaded, needless to say it was a cozy nest in the truck. We were doing well until about the edge of town on highway 13. Man did those roads need plowed. I was going slow but we had a fishtailing incident that scared the bejesus out of both of us. We almost died. Fortunately there wasn't anyone around us and I pulled it back together. Didn't touch the brakes so I did good. It was white knuckle driving all the way to Collins. Don't know where Collins was exactly and we didn't seem to pass through it on the way back. We may have been in an alternate universe at that point. Lauren is a wonderful traveling companion, the conversation all day was deep and wide. My brain was humming with the stimulation. My navigator on my Droid did an amazing job this trip. Lauren would look up the address on her I-phone, we'd plug it into the Navigator and we were expertly guided wherever we went. Clinton for breakfast and a pit stop and we off again. The roads were much clearer the closer we got to KC. I don't even know what time we got into Good Ju Ju. It's was definitely an awesome experience although a bit crowded and wild. There were people wandering around in green martian antenna and pink heart antenna and a lot of zealous guarding of pieces till they could get someone over to carry something out. Lots of goodies there! I saw several older pieces, tables, buffets, dressers painted in really pretty pastels in a distressed finish. Beautiful. I'd just painted my bookcase in that shade of robin's egg blue so I think I was really feeling those spring colors. Found a gorgeous little painted tray there. Everytime you circled around you'd find something you had missed the first time. They almost dropped a wardrobe on me. I could have died. We went two or more places during the day, I don't think I remember all the names. Rivermarket? Top to bottom, Under bottom, over the hill? Each one was full of cool stuff. Rivermarket was similar to those older buildings we have downtown with about three floors and a basement full of goodies. It was less crowded and lovely. Found a great bowl and my canister set there.We also visited a private dealer while we were there. He was an odd little man. Lauren managed to pry something wonderful out of his little hoarder hands but it took finesse. Had a nice dinner at Olive Garden (familiar comfort of a good salad - our plans for dessert did not materialize, we were just too stuffed). The third place we went to was next to the railroad tracks and we were a bit leary about leaving our stuff on the truck unguarded. Lauren asked the guy inside about the safety issue and he assured us it would be okay. He actually went outside and checked on everything for us while we were inside looking around. Lovely people those Kansas Cityans.  Made a final stop at the World Market. Had a blood orange soda and found a really cute mini colander for Rhi's Ramen in a bright blue. Also an adorable little decorated set of multicolored measuring spoons. We headed back out on the road late evening, was it 10:00? I don't know it was a blur by that time. Again roads were fine until we ran into snow in Clinton. You could see through the snow but you couldn't see the lines on the road. Fortunately not a lot of traffic. It was so sparkly. Stopped in Clinton for a cheeseburger and coffee. Never did see Collins again. I think it was an optical illusion. We didn't really almost die turning off in Clinton. I had it under control Lauren geez! LMAO. Finally made it back to Springfield and people were sliding all over the road just at Kansas and Kearney. We stopped by the house and dug Rhi's car out of the driveway at midnight. (Rhi pushed too). Above and beyond Lauren. Thanks again! Got Lauren delivered and the truck unloaded. Went home and I had Rhi pry my boots off (we did dig her car out after all) and fell into bed to sleep like a rock till about 11:00 today. Wow what an adventure. We are definitely going back!